Relationship Property – Separation and Division of Assets
Under the Property (Relationships) Act 1976, once you've been in a marriage, civil union, or de facto relationship for three years or more, the law generally splits relationship property 50/50 — regardless of who paid for what.
(Marriages and civil unions are technically covered by the Act from day one, but the equal-sharing rule is softened for relationships under three years old, so in practice three years is the point most people should have this sorted by.)
Untangling the two is usually the real work.
What you brought into the relationship, and some inheritances or gifts, can stay separate — but only if it's genuinely been kept that way.
What to bring to your first appointment.
Trust me — it’ll save you money. The more of this you can gather before we meet, the less time — and cost — goes into me chasing it down for you.
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If one of you is buying the other out, I'll need:
a value for the house (an online estimate is a fine starting point),
the exact amount still owing on the mortgage,
and how the mortgage is currently being paid.
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Ring your KiwiSaver provider and say: "I've separated from my partner, and I need a statement for my lawyer showing the exact amount in my KiwiSaver account as at [date of separation]."
Your ex-partner needs to do the same for their own account. Get it sent directly to yourself — these statements are often password-protected, and that's not something I can untangle for you.
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Get a value for each vehicle. Trade Me Motors or another online vehicle-valuation service is fine for this.
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Statements for any savings accounts, in either name, as at date of separation.
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Anything else of real value — boats, caravans, motorbikes, that sort of thing.
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Something people rarely think of: accrued annual leave has value, and it counts as relationship property. If you are concerned about this please ask your employer, or check a recent payslip, for the balance as at the separation date.
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For all accounts, as at the separation date. Debts get divided too, not just assets.
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Details of anything either of you has a stake in.
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Anything with a cash value, not just standard life cover.
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If you and your ex-partner ever signed one (a "prenup"), bring a copy. It changes everything about how we approach the rest of this.
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If you're claiming something as yours alone (an inheritance, money you brought in before the relationship), bring whatever paper trail you have — the bank statement showing it landing, for example.
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Bring your ID and proof of address.
How to name documents
If you are bringing the above documents in digitally then I recommend labelling as follows:
"Name of person it relates to" "year month day" "Item" "amount"
- Tim 2026 07 12 ANZ KiwiSaver $54,987
- Tim 2026 06 18 Toyota Land Cruiser $32,890
- Beth 2026 07 11 BNZ KiwiSaver $123,989
- Beth 2026 04 12 Mitsubishi Car $8,900
What not to bring
You don't need an itemised inventory of the toaster, the good cutlery, and every other small household item. You will have better things to spend money on than me writing letters about the toaster.
Round the small stuff off between yourselves wherever you reasonably can. It saves money, and heartache.
Sort out a new will
If you're separating, your old will almost certainly still names your ex. If you would like, please ask me to draft you a new one — and do it as soon as you can, not once everything else is settled.
Check who's named on your life insurance
A life insurance policy pays out to whoever is named on the policy — not to your estate, and not based on what your will says, unless it's been specifically set up that way. If your ex-partner is still named as the beneficiary, they get paid, full stop.
I've seen this go wrong in practice. Someone separates, moves on with their life, and simply never gets around to changing an old beneficiary nomination. Years later, when they die, the payout goes straight to an ex-partner who's long since been out of the picture — not to a new spouse, not to their children, not to their estate. It's rarely intentional on anyone's part. It's just a form nobody went back and changed.
While you're sorting everything else out, check every life insurance policy you hold, and make sure it names you (or your estate) as the beneficiary — not an ex-partner — unless that's genuinely still what you want.
Protecting your position while things get sorted
If the property is only in your ex-partner's name, I can register a notice on the title. This doesn't stop them owning it — but it does mean they can't sell it or refinance it without you being told first, which protects your claim while everything else is being worked out.
If the property is in both your names, and you think it's worthwhile, there's something else I can do. Right now, if one of you were to die before the property split is finalised, the whole property would automatically go to the surviving partner — no matter what either of your wills say. I can act to change that, so that if something happens to you before things are settled, your share goes to your estate instead, to be dealt with under your will (or the normal rules if you don't have one), rather than passing automatically to your ex-partner.
Let’s work together.
Please contact me, Lenny, if you would like to make an appointment or to discuss any of the information on this page.